The contact buttons don’t always work on every device. If they are not working for you, here is how to contact us and schedule your appointment.
41 Clayton St. #300, Asheville, NC 28801
The contact buttons don’t always work on every device. If they are not working for you, here is how to contact us and schedule your appointment.
41 Clayton St. #300, Asheville, NC 28801
That is how Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), described Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It isn’t just “mood swings.” It is an agonizing sensitivity where the slightest emotional touch—a change in tone, a delayed text, a perceived rejection—feels like excruciating pain.
If you are reading this, you might be tired. Tired of the emotional storms that seem to come out of nowhere. Tired of relationships that start with intense passion and end in devastating heartbreak. Tired of the chronic emptiness that feels like a physical hole in your chest.
And perhaps most of all, you are tired of being misunderstood.
At Resilient Mind Counseling, we know that BPD is one of the most stigmatized diagnoses in mental health. You may have been called “manipulative,” “attention-seeking,” or “impossible” by partners, family, or even other therapists.
We want to set the record straight: You are not your diagnosis. You are not broken. You are a person in immense pain who is doing their best to survive.
Our specialized BPD therapy services in Asheville and across North Carolina are designed to help you build a “life worth living”—not by suppressing your emotions, but by learning how to surf the waves without drowning.
Textbook definitions of BPD often list dry symptoms like “impulsivity” or “unstable relationships.” But they rarely capture the internal reality of living with this condition. In our Asheville therapy practice, we hear clients describe their experience in much more visceral ways:
The “Raw Nerve” Experience: You feel emotions deeper, faster, and longer than others. When you are happy, you are ecstatic. When you are sad, you are in despair. There is no middle ground.
The Fear of Abandonment: It feels primal. The thought of someone leaving you—or even just pulling away emotionally—triggers a panic that feels life-threatening. You might find yourself pleading, lashing out, or frantically trying to “fix” things just to stop the pain of separation.
The Chameleon Effect: You might feel like you don’t know who you really are. Your hobbies, style, and even your opinions might shift depending on who you are with, because you are unconsciously trying to be exactly what they need so they won’t leave.
The “Splitting” (Black and White Thinking): People are either angels (saviors who will never hurt you) or devils (enemies who have betrayed you). It is terrifyingly easy to flip from idealizing someone to devaluing them in a single moment of hurt.
The Void: When the emotional storms quiet down, you aren’t left with peace. You are left with a gnawing sense of emptiness and boredom that is so painful you might do impulsive things (spending, substances, reckless driving) just to feel something.
If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone. BPD is a response to a combination of high biological sensitivity and an invalidating environment. It is not a character flaw.
Not everyone with BPD lashes out. Many of our clients in North Carolina struggle with what is colloquially known as “Quiet BPD” (or High-Functioning BPD).
If you have Quiet BPD, you don’t scream at others—you scream at yourself. You might appear calm, successful, and “put together” on the outside. You hold down a job, you have friends, and you don’t cause scenes in public. But internally, you are constantly directing your rage, shame, and criticism inward.
Signs of Quiet BPD may include:
Imploding vs. Exploding: Instead of getting angry at a partner, you withdraw and punish yourself, believing you are a burden.
Extreme People-Pleasing: You suppress your own needs to an unhealthy degree to avoid conflict, terrified that if you assert a boundary, you will be rejected.
The “Favorite Person” (FP) Dynamic: You may become emotionally dependent on one specific person (a partner, friend, or mentor), where your entire mood for the day depends on their approval or attention.
Secret Self-Harm: You may engage in self-destructive behaviors that no one sees, or struggle with chronic suicidal ideation that you never voice because you don’t want to be “drama.”
At Resilient Mind Counseling, we specialize in identifying and treating Quiet BPD. We see the pain behind the mask.
Why does a neurodivergent-affirming practice specialize in BPD? Because BPD is neurodivergence!
Recent research and clinical experience show that many people diagnosed with BPD are actually undiagnosed Autistic or ADHD women/afab individuals (or have both BPD and another form of neurodivergence).
Consider the similarities:
Emotional Dysregulation: Both ADHDers and people with BPD struggle to regulate intense emotions (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria).
Sensory Overload: The “rage” seen in BPD can sometimes be a meltdown triggered by sensory overwhelm.
Social Friction: The struggle to understand social nuances can lead to the relationship instability seen in BPD.
The “Favorite Person”: This can look very similar to the intense hyper-fixation on a person seen in ADHD/Autism.
We don’t just slap a label on you and start a protocol. We explore your whole brain. Does BPD fit or is there more to explore such as autism? Are you truly borderline or are you an autistic person suffering from burnout and trauma? Or both? We help you untangle the threads so you can get the right support.
One of the most painful aspects of BPD is the havoc it wreaks on relationships. You crave connection more than anything, yet your fear often pushes people away.
We work extensively on the “Favorite Person” (FP) dynamic. Having an FP can feel like an addiction. When they text you back, you are high on life. When they are silent, you are in withdrawal. This puts an immense amount of pressure on one human being to regulate your entire emotional nervous system.
In therapy, we will help you:
Identify when you are “splitting” on your partner.
Learn to self-soothe so you aren’t entirely dependent on your FP for regulation.
Communicate your needs (“I’m feeling insecure right now”) without accusations (“You don’t care about me”).
Build a support network so that one person isn’t carrying your whole world.
You have probably told yourself to “just calm down” a thousand times. If you could, you would have by now.
The BPD brain has a hyperactive amygdala (the brain’s threat detection center) and an underactive prefrontal cortex (the logic center) during moments of stress. When you are triggered, your “thinking brain” literally goes offline. You are in fight-or-flight mode.
This is why logic doesn’t work in a BPD episode. In therapy, we teach you biological hacks (like the TIPP skill—using cold water to reset your nervous system) to bring your logic brain back online before you try to process the emotion. We work with your biology, not against it.
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. If you Google BPD, you will see articles warning people to “run away.” This breaks our hearts.
We believe that what looks like manipulation is actually a desperate bid for connection or safety.
Threatening self-harm isn’t usually about controlling someone; it’s a cry of “I am in so much pain I don’t know how to communicate it.”
Accusing someone of not loving you isn’t about guilt-tripping; it’s a terrifying projection of your own abandonment fears.
We don’t shame you for these behaviors. We validate the need behind them, and then we help you find more effective ways to get those needs met.
We are more than just a therapy practice. We are a community of providers who are committed to providing culturally competent and affirming care. We believe that:
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Therapy should be a space where you can be your authentic self, without fear of judgment.
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We understand that the idea of therapy can be intimidating. But taking that first step is an act of strength. It’s an investment in yourself, your future, and your well-being.
At Resilient Mind Counseling, we believe in providing inclusive counseling services. This is why we also provide supportive therapy for those who identify as Neurodivergent and LGBTQ. Our online therapists in North Carolina also provide anxiety treatment, depression treatment, and PTSD treatment. As well as mood disorder treatment, marriage counseling, and couples therapy.
For accessibility, we provide these services through online therapy in North Carolina.
We accept payment through a HIPAA compliant payment processing software.
This ensures that your financial information remains encrypted and protected.
Therapy can be vulnerable and new, so it’s natural to be nervous. It can be scary to think of opening up or crying in front of someone new, perhaps fearing that it will be awkward and uncomfortable. The fear around that can feel overwhelming. Getting the counseling we need can be challenging. And although it’s normal to be nervous, that doesn’t make it feel great. It takes courage to continue getting the help you need.
Therapy is a space where you can be yourself and feel safe from judgment, including feeling nervous. We’re committed to finding a way to care for your nervousness and ensure sessions are as comfortable as possible.
We’re here if you want to talk about it during a free phone consultation.
Take your time to read through this website. If you sense that we may be a good fit based on what you are reading, you can call us.
During a free phone consultation, you can ask one of our therapists about how they have helped other people like you before, ask how they work as a therapist, or any other questions you may have that are specific-to-you. You’ll also be able to tell them what’s up, and you and one of our therapists can decide together how they can help.
It will usually take a couple of sessions to feel comfortable and develop a relationship. During the sessions, you’ll be able to understand how comfortable you feel in sessions. Our approach is not going to work for everyone. What’s most important is that you find someone who you feel is the right fit for you. We can explore that together.
If something feels overwhelming or even terrifying to discuss, that’s actually very normal. It can often feel difficult to talk about some things. During sessions, your therapist will never push you to talk about things that are too painful for you to talk about. They will be there to guide you towards discovering what feels comfortable for you to share. Working at your pace, together you can look at the tough stuff if you’re ready.
You can also share with them that you are nervous to open up about something, and you and your therapist can talk about that too. Whatever is present for you. Whatever you are going through. Bring that to session and you can explore that together.
If you open up, we will not think you are crazy. We will think you are someone who’s very courageous. Many clients have had the same fear (that people would think they are crazy).
Through our own life journeys and working with clients, we know how “normal” your experience is.
You’re not being dramatic or “too much.” Nothing you can say will cause us to judge you.
We know nobody’s perfect. We all struggle. We all suffer in different ways.
Whatever it is you’re going through, we provide a safe space where you can feel heard and supported without judgment.
You might already know that you want to share sensitive information about your loved ones and you don’t want them to find out what you’ve said. So we want you to know that unless there is an imminent danger to yourself or someone else, everything you share is completely confidential.
There is nothing more important than your privacy.
You can rest assured that you can talk about anything without fear of that information getting out.
If you have specific questions about how confidentiality works, you can ask during your free phone consultation or anytime during your work with your therapist.
Overall, you can think of the first session as a structured assessment that helps your therapist get to know you and the challenges that brought you into treatment. They’ll invite you to share more about yourself, and you can also talk about what’s worked or not worked for your mental health in the past.
Some questions that your therapist might ask during a first session include:
You can ask your therapist questions as well. You might be curious about their experience or how future sessions work.
The most important part of a first session is that you see if you feel your therapist is a good fit for you. If you feel supported, seen, and at ease with them, you can discuss if you’d like to meet again.
Sometimes the hardest part is getting started. We’re here to make it easier with a free consultation—just a conversation, no pressure, only support.
